


Eighty-eight Letters

by TwistedSamurai



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: After Zack's Death, And refuses to look at a single one of them, Angst, Angst and Feels, Because they're all for Zack, Farewells, Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Men Crying, Poor Tseng (Compilation of FFVII), Sorrow, Tseng keeps all the letters, Zack Fair Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedSamurai/pseuds/TwistedSamurai
Summary: "I have letters to give him... Eight-eight of them."In the quiet gloom of the office, the only sound that can be heard is the muffled sobs behind leather, as tears fall.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	Eighty-eight Letters

A gloved hand gently brushed over the top of the sealed box, leather barely ghosting over the top as the glow from the city infiltrated the windows, leaving a steady golden glow to the room. It seemed to illuminate the desk, and the box on top of it. As if to highlight the failures of the Turk currently staring down at it.

Tseng took a deep breath, before brown eyes slowly turned away from the box. Eighty-eight letters. All written by the same hand, all addressed to the same person. He grit his teeth slightly as the same thought passed his mind once more: These letters would never be read or opened by the recipient. They would remain in this box, sealed up and never to be opened by anyone, not even himself.

The call had only come in a short while ago. He had been by the window, watching the horizon as the sun went down waiting for some kind of sign that they were returning. But no helicopter had flown by as he he answered his phone. The army had been faster than them, had found Zack just outside of Midgar. It almost made him want to scream learning how close the man had been to making it back safely. To where Tseng may have been able to help him. But instead he only slammed a fist down onto the desk with a dull thud. In the quiet of the office that sound only seemed to echo, sounding far louder than it really was as he had hung up.

Another deep breath. And another. Tseng could feel the sob welling up in his chest, even as he tried his best to stamp down on his emotions as he thought about it, his hand leaving the box it had been resting on. He had never before failed a mission like this- never failed to protect someone. Even when he was still a young rookie, he had been able to do it, so why couldn’t he have just this one last time been able to help someone so dear to not only him, but Aerith as well?

The chair creaked as he fell into it, one hand coming up to cover his mouth and stifle the loud sound that escaped him as Tseng allowed his emotions to spill forth. He knew none of the others were even in the office any more, not this late at night- and even if they were, then none of them would enter without knocking at least. The small sobs he managed to stifle behind his hand shook his shoulders, and his eyes shut, as if that would stop the tears running down his cheeks to leave wet trails on either side of his face.

In the quiet of the office, he let out all the emotions he had been holding back- the fear, the anxiety, the stress. The worry they would never make it in time that only grew worse with every passing report made by the others, with no sign of the two anywhere. Not a trace of either target, and with every second he could almost feel the hopelessness sinking in. Part of him had known they wouldn’t make it, that it would come to this end.

But he had pushed it away, and demanded they keep looking, while he had kept watch over the letter he had promised Aerith to give to Zack when he returned.

His phone went off, but Tseng refused to look at it. After a few minutes, it fell silent, the screen lighting up with a missed call, as well as a message. He slowly moved his hand as his sobs died down, willing himself to reach out. But his hand moved past the cell, as he picked up the box again. “I’m sorry, Aerith.” He whispered softly into the dimly lit office, staring at the box in his hands. He turned the chair a little, staring at them before turning his gaze out and studying the mako reactors he could see from his window.

How long had she spent writing all those letters, he wondered. She had written so many of them. It was almost tempting to take a look, but Tseng knew even as he brushed his thumb over the top of the box that he would never open it. Instead he forced himself to look at his phone, staring at the missed call on it. Aerith. She never really contacted him, not unless it was an emergency, or she was checking to see if he was still coming down on a day off to visit her.

In the past four years, he had gone down far more. Taken his days off just walking with her, as he had seen Zack doing. They had been walking in silence more and more often, with Aerith staring at the ground in front of them, or off into the distance. The pink ribbon that Zack had bought her had never left her hair either and Tseng knew it never would. He had tried, at first to make her laugh with stories from the office. But it was never enough to bring that playful light back into her eyes, or that shy smile she always had for him onto her lips. He knew that was something he could never bring back. 

Something she now would never really have again.

Tseng felt more tears well up, as he set his phone back down again. No doubt she had sent him a message, about Zack. She knew when people were gone and had always had. But he only stepped away from it, not able to bring himself to unlock his phone and look at what she had sent him. His grip on the box only tightened as he forced himself to reign in the emotions bubbling in his chest.

He had to push them down, had to be strong. He was a Turk, and he had to act like one he told himself. This was a job, and even though he failed it, he could not give into the pain in his heart. He had to seal it away, close it off, and forget it. It was in the past. Tseng crouched, opening the bottom drawer to his desk before putting the box inside, fingers lingering briefly on top of it before he pulled back and closed it with a soft click, standing up and picking up his phone.

The same hand that had brushed over the box now reached up and wiped at the few tears still on his cheeks, before turning to the window and dialing the number without even looking at the screen, the numbers a simple muscle memory to him now as he hit call and listened to it ring. It was a wonder Shinra hadn’t cancelled it, after everything had happened. But, the company was in too much of a disarray lately that it didn’t surprise him as it started to ring.

There was no one at the other end, no answer. Just like all the other times he had tried to call. Tseng swallowed slightly, letting it go to voicemail and listening to the cheery voice on the other end tell him to leave a message. Wishing it had been a hello of some sort as the machine beeped. He didn’t hang up this time, but simply spoke in a soft whisper.

“… I have her letters for you. I… Just needed you to know, that they were here. I… I’m sorry, we never made it to you in time.” He couldn’t raise his voice above a whisper, the words thick. “I know you’re counting on me. To keep an eye on Aerith. I will.” There was a moment of silence, as Tseng tried to speak before the machine beeped again. Full message box.

Tseng lowered his phone, barely even registering the sound as it hung up before he move away from the window.

“Goodbye, Zack.”


End file.
